Angels/Dodgers, Round 4

When the Anaheim Angels suddenly changed their name to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim a heated competition for the Best Team With Los Angeles In Their Name ensued. Earlier this year the Angels took two out of three games from the first place Dodgers in Chavez Ravine highlighted by Torii Hunter's collision into the wall. With all that said, allow me to take you through the fourth game of this year's Freeway Series.

Pre-game: Welcome to Angels Stadium! We're expecting a sell-out crowd today as the NL West leading Dodgers come into town to face the second place Angels. Scattered amongst the Angels faithful are blue caps, jerseys and the subtle scent of Coronas with limes. We got Rory Markus and Mark Gubicza on the call tonight. An interesting fact about the I-5 Series: the Angels lead the all-time series 40-31, including an impressive 16-5 record in Anaheim. Why didn't we just stick to our guns and keep the Anaheim in our name? It wasn't hurting anyone.

Just a reminder, the Angels are riding a 6-game winning streak that includes two sweeps. The teams we've swept: the Padres and the Giants. The division those two teams play for, the NL West. The division the Dodgers are currently in, the NL West. All I'm saying is, what do we gotta do to switch leagues?

Going through all the defensive assignments, Gubicza casually mentions that Chone Figgins is going to make his presence felt on the defensive side of the ball this evening. Really? Chone Figgins? Does anyone feel safe with Chone Figgins as their Hot Corner Specialist? I mean when your go-to move on a hot shot is to drop to your knees and swipe at the ball blindly chances are you're not gonna win any gold gloves anytime soon. Somewhere Roger Dorn is nodding his head silently.

Torii Hunter is back in the starting lineup after running head first - literally - into the wall up in San Fransisco two games ago. At this point in his career Torii Hunter is flirting with Reggie Ray's diagnosis: Five more concussions and he'll die. This was the reaction to that play (keep in mind we're up 8-0 at that point): Torrrrrrrrrii!!! Ahh. Ohh. Oww ... That's not good. That's really not good. Torii we're up 8-0 plus Bengie Molina hit that gapper! Bengie Molina!!! He couldn't outrun Aretha Franklin for god's sake! Anyway, it's good to see Torii back in the lineup! Phew! The Angels - and my fantasy team - are looking a lot better with him patrolling center.

Another interesting fact, Chone Figgins and Juan Pierre are best friends. Who would've known?

Before we start the running diary I wanna dissect this whole Juan Pierre/Manny Ramirez ordeal. Pierre is a starter on any team in Major League Baseball, period. He hits for average and is always a threat to swipe a bag or two. He's demonstrated over this last month and a half that he's a legit starter that deserves to be playing everyday. Unfortunately the Dodgers paid $50 million to Manny Ramirez this past summer and it wouldn't matter if it was revealed in a special Outside The Lines report that he ran a drug ring with Frank Lucas, the Dodgers are going to play him. It's what the fans want, it's what the media wants, and it's what Manny wants. So come early July when Manny triumphantly returns to Mannywood, Juan Pierre's back on the bench. Juan, allow me to introduce you to Mark Loretta and Mitch Jones, you'll be rooming with them for the remainder of the season.

Top 1st: Come to find out Pierre is batting .328 over this month and a half stretch. Unbelievable. The man is on a time clock yet he still produces. When Manny steals his spot can the Angels make a run at him?

Bottom 1st: Gubicza states that Chone Figgins is making a real push to make the All-Star team with his productivity these last few weeks. Please. Doesn't Gubicza know that the only Angels contractually allowed to be on the All-Star team are the Angels' home run leader (currently Torii Hunter) and closer (currently Brian Fuentes)? The rest of those all-star spots are reserved for Yankees and Red Sox only. Chone Figgins, East Coast Bias. East Coast Bias, Chone Figgins.

With all that said, Chone Figgins leads off with a double to center field. Matt Kemp attempted to catch it but came up a wee bit short. Don't worry, if Manny Ramirez played center field he'd still be trying to find the ball in his MC Hammer pants.

No harm done when Casey Blake makes a phenomenal bare-handed play to get Torii out at first ... and wait ... Figgins gets thrown out at third on a patented Angels baserunning error. Inning over. Chone Figgins is gonna have to steal a couple bags tonight to make up for that one.

Top 2nd: Andre Ethier (the 5th batter in the lineup) walks to the plate as Markus calmly pronounces him the cleanup hitter. Uhhhh. I'm telling you, these play-by-play and color commentators have the cushiest, easiest job in the world! If I only had Joe Buck's voice. Markus also points out that the Dodgers have a .657 winning percentage this year, but it's "not as sparkling as it sounds" considering they play the majority of their games against other mediocre at best NL West teams. Ya think?!? I think the Bad News Bears played in a tougher division than the Dodgers. Markus also mentions that he thinks the league is a little "down" this year. Down? Has it ever been up? Hasn't it been getting progressively worse and worse over the years and is currently heading for bankruptcy and planning to ask President Obama for a kajillion dollar bailout soon?

Matt Kemp gets picked off at second and Erick Aybar makes a barehanded play to throw out James Loney after the ball ricocheted off of Joe Saunders glove, making the play much much harder than it needed to be. Inning over.

Bottom 2nd: Now batting, Number 27, The Designated Hitter, The Artist Formerly Known as Vladimir Guerrero!!! Vlad is carrying his 6'3" 235 lbs broken down frame up to the plate slower than Kirk Gibson in the 1988 World Series. Of course, to shut me up he singles. Where's the limp and fist pump is all I'm asking. Runners on second and third with one out and up walks Mighty Maicer.

(Sidenote: We Angels fans dubbed Maicer Izturis "Mighty Maicer" for his ability to come through in big situations. Yes, we know it's completely ironic considering he's the tiniest guy on the team and he waxes his eyebrows, but hey, we needed someone to be our "Mighty" and we chose him. We're sticking with our guns and there's nothing you can say to change our mind.)

Mighty Maicer hits an un-mighty pop fly to Matt Kemp which fails to score the runner from third. Rats! Come to think of it, is Soft Pop Up To Center Field Maicer too long?

Another amazing play by Casey Blake to squash the Angels hopes of striking the first blow on a terrific grab in foul territory. Did Casey Blake somehow hop in Doc Brown's delorean and switch bodies with the 1999 Derek Jeter? Can we prove he didn't?

Top 3rd: Mitch Jones, everyone! I know you're asking, "Mitch Jones?" Well, apparently he's spent the last century in the minors. Time must absolutely fly when you're eating fast food nightly, riding on buses and playing in front of 500 people each night. Well, the Dodgers called him up seeing they needed a designated hitter for the weekend and Manny was unavailable because he's currently on Maternity Leave.

Joe Saunders walks in a run to make it 1-0 Dodgers. Let the drunken celebrations and missed high-fives begin! Gotta hate it when the Dodgers score first in Anaheim.

Bottom 3rd: A Figgins walk, followed by an Abreu line out brings Torii back to the plate. Trying to keep Figgins close, Billingsley throws the ball away allowing Figgins to advance to second. Torii hits a high chopper past first only he thought it was heading foul but it somehow tight roped the line and generated the second out of the inning. Figgins is still standing on second. But wait!!! We get our first glimpse of the Mike Scioscia "Someone just told me a horrible joke and now I'm debating whether to laugh or just leave" Face. Gotta love it. And High Definition only makes it more comical. Vlad's at the plate. He goes on to swing at his 1,934,560th pitch in the dirt. Geez, I don't even think Pedro Cerrano missed this many curveballs. Somewhere David Ortiz is standing up and applauding. Of course, to shut me up, he singles in Figgins to make it 1-1.

Top 4th: We get out first dose of the brother vs. brother matchup for Saturday night's game. It's oftentimes forgotten that when Jered Weaver was a rookie in 2006 his brother was on the Angels. Only he was horrible. We practically pulled a Stephon Marbury and paid him to not be around the team. That year we released him and he went to go on to win the World Series with the Angels' Dumping Ground also known as the St. Louis Cardinals. Go figure.

Joe Saunders gives up a solo HR to make the score 2-1 in favor of the Dodgers. After seeing the replay Gubicza and Markus come to the conclusion that Loney's HR was a product of a hanging curveball. If you think about it "hanging curveball" is practically synonymous with "tape-measure home run". Hey! In case you didn't know the 2010 All-Star Game is going to be played in Anaheim! I wonder how long it took Bud Selig to pinpoint Anaheim on a map. 30 minutes? 45 minutes? I'm definitely going with over 10 tries.

Bottom 4th: A pretty feeble inning for the Halos, so much so I don't really recall seeing anything worth writing. Man it would suck to be a Pirates fan. This article would be much much shorter.

Top 5th: Upon Roger Lodge's arrival in the booth Rafael Furcal proceeds to hit a 2-run bomb on, you guessed it - a hanging curveball. 4-1 Dodgers. The Dodgers noise meter is getting pretty high at this point. How many Angels fans right now are dreading their seats? Not only do they gotta listen to the obnoxious Dodgers fan sitting behind them, all the while they gotta repeatedly clean off the spilled beer from their shoulders. Yikes!

Bottom 5th: To lead off the inning Erick Aybar strikes out on a "wicked" curveball. Wicked? Of course the curveball was wicked, because if it wasn't it would've been deposited in the stands by now (see: Loney, James & Furcal, Rafael). Andre Ethier botches a sliding catch leading to a Home Field Double by Figgins. Man, I haven't seen this many botched catches by a group of outfielders since my most recent adult softball game. Wow, Figgins is 2-2 with a walk on the night. I guess he really is making a last ditch all-star pu ... Wow, Russell Martin just picked off Figgins at first on a throw-behind pick off. I believe that runs the tally up to Base Paths: 2, Chone Figgins, 0. Almost on cue, Bobby Abreu grounds out to first to end the inning.

Bottom 6th: After six innings I've noticed that Billingsley stands in disgust after every bad pitch for a couple seconds like I do after every bad drive, iron shot, chip shot and putt. He just walked Torii Hunter so he's situated like I am after missing a 3-foot putt to save double bogey. After a Guerrero infield single, a Juan Rivera sac fly, and a walk to Kendry Morales, Billingsley is starting to resemble me after a 4-putt.

With the bases chucked Soft Pop Up To Center Field Maicer strolls to the plate and ... a ground ball to right!!! Torii and Vlad come around to make the score. 4-3 Dodgers. OK OK, Maicer's earned his ironic nickname back. A Mike Napoli sac fly scores Morales and an Aybar ground out ends the inning. 4-3 Dodgers.

Top 7th: Joe Saunders retires Pierre, who seems to have about 10 at-bats this game. Seriously, every time they show someone in the on-deck circle Juan Pierre is taking hacks. Maybe he cloned himself to show Dodgers management two Juan Pierre's are better - and cheaper - than one Manny Ramirez. Jason Bulger relieves Saunders and promptly gives up an infield single to Orlando Hudson. Luckily Casey "Throw me a curveball in the dirt and I'm good to swing at it" Blake is the next batter and almost like clockwork Bulger strikes him out to end the inning.

Bottom 7th: Once again we hear about the Figgins/Pierre friendship. I'm putting the number of references to their friendship for this series at 39.5 and taking the over. Vlad feablily grounds into an inning-ending double play.

Top 8th: Darren Oliver is on in relief of Bulger. After a Matt Kemp single we get the privilege of seeing an X-Mo replay of Oliver's delivery. I can practically see the seams of his pants stretching to unsafe levels. Here are five words Angles fans dread: Justin Speier is warming up. After a strike out by Loney, a steal by Kemp, an intentional walk to Martin, Jones comes up with a chance to be the hero. Only, Joe Torre pulls him for the ageless Mark Loretta. Here are five more words Angels fans dread hearing: Justin Speier is coming in. The graphic shows Speier's ERA currently at 4.58 and a little sidebar shows that he has a 1.84 ERA in his last 14 appearances. His total number of appearances for the season is 23 which makes you wonder, WHAT WAS HE DOING THE OTHER 9 APPEARANCES?!?!? Almost on cue, he walks Mark Loretta on 5 pitches to load the bases. We get another shot of the Mike Scioscia Face but this time I'd much rather see the Tony Reagins "I can't believe I signed this guy, I must have been hammered when I signed the contract" Face. Two outs.

Speier gets the ever-present Pierre to fly out to left to end the inning. Phew! Wait a second, we get a shot of Speier giving a Dikembe Mutumbo-esque finger wave for some strange reason. I'm interpreting it as a middle finger to fans like me.

Bottom 8th: Juan Rivera mashes a hanging slider to left field after a 9-pitch AB for his 10th homer of the year. Don't these pitchers know that if you curveball is not "wicked" it's gonna get hit a long way? So far we've seen three hanging curveballs leave the pitchers hand and none of them have come back. Luckily, Rivera's home run leads to the most unintentionally comedic curtain call of all-time. Granted, I wasn't at the game so I couldn't hear how loud the cheers were for Rivera after he hit that shot but I just saw a replay in which Rivera proceeded to give a curtain call, only nobody even noticed he even came out. Hilarious. I had to rewind and see that a couple times to believe it.

Top 9th: Though hearing "Brian Fuentes is on to close" is better than hearing "K-Rod is on to close" it's not by much. After a Furcal single, a Hudson sacrifice, and a Casey Blake strike out, Fuentes gives up a 4-pitch walk to Andre Ethier. Wait a second, is that K-Rod out on the mound wearing a Fuentes jersey? On an 0-2 count to Matt Kemp the crowd in unison stands. Dodgers fans are noticeably grimacing because their holding their bladder to Hoover Dam level. And the pitch ... STRIKE THREE!!! He struck him out!!! Just another Halo Victory!

Angels, 5. Dodgers, 4.

To recap, that extends the Angels winning streak to seven in a row - all against NL West teams. Three wins out of the last four games against the Dodgers and with Texas losing that brings the Halos within one game of first place in the AL West.

Once again, what do we gotta do to switch leagues? Surrender the 2010 All-Star Game?