Well, what a weekend for the Halos, wouldn't ya say?
First, we get a Nationally televised game on FOX, much to the dismay of millions of sports fans across the United States then we get a thrilling, back and forth Sunday afternoon game against the lowly Arizona Diamondbacks.
Sunday's tug-of-war 12-8 victory over the Diamondback's Triple-A affiliate - oh wait, that was the Diamondbacks' professional team? Oops, my bad - did two things: 1) it wrapped up interleague play for the 2008-2009 Major League Baseball season and 2) cemented the Angels' third three-game sweep over opponents from the horrendous minor league division that is the National League West.
The win also boosted the Angels' interleague record to a Major League best 14-4. Sure the 14 victories came via NL West foes but don't laugh, these NL West teams are {trying not to laugh myself} quite, hmm how can I put this nicely? Competitive? All in all we swept the woeful Padres at home, the Giants on the road, lost 2 out of 3 at Angel Stadium to the Los Angeles Joe Torres (ouch!), took 2 out of 3 from the Rockies at home and swept the dreadful D'Backs in Arizona.
With the combination of an Angels victory and a Rangers defeat on Saturday the Angels leapfrogged Texas to take over sole possession of first place in the American League West for the first time all season.
Ah, there's no place like home. Ah, and a warm seat to boot! Thanks Texas!
Over this 18-game interleague stretch, it looks as if all question marks are finally beginning to stabilize. Namely, Juan Rivera.
I'm guilty of being one of those who buried Juan before the season, saying the following: "So you're telling me this summer we decided to invest our money into a mediocre outfielder who's never hit more than 23 homers in a year and has had a history of injuries instead of chasing one of the greatest right-handed batters of all time? Did we at least get some free balls in the deal?You can't tell me signing Manny Ramirez wouldn't have re-energized the Angels faithful. And all this talk about Manny possibly not being happy in Anaheim ... we're right next to Disneyland for God's sake! The Happiest Place on Earth! How could Manram not enjoy living next to Disneyland for two to three years? Instead, he's hitting dingers for our hated crosstown rival and we're left with Juan Rivera (a fourth outfield, at best) hitting .200 for three years. Grrrrrreat."
(In a perfect world, The Weakest Link lady would turn to me ever so slowly, glance coldly at me as if I was dressed in drag, and deliver the patented haymaker: "You ARE the weakest link, good-bye!")
Needless to say, Rivera has already surpassed my underwhelming expectations with 73 hits, 12 home runs, 41 RBIs, a .305 batting average, a .504 slugging percentage and a cemented spot on my fantasy baseball squad. All this while Manny Ramirez is hitting longballs for the Inland Empire 66er's. Do I wish Manny Ramirez was hitting dingers for the Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (our single-A affiliate) and still secretly visualize him in an Angels uni? Of course I do.
More importantly, Vladimir Guerrero is starting to show signs of a pulse. I'll admit, about a week ago I was getting ready to throw in the towel on Big Daddy Vladdy's illustrious and historic career. He was below the Mendoza line and showing no signs of life. His swing was flatter than Nicole Richie. He had less pop than Carson Daly and less pizazz than Heidi Montag (damn right I made a reference to The Hills). But I still had hope. Hope that one game we'd see him golf a ball over the outfield fence, clumsily trot around the bases, give a few Tiger Fist Pimps along the way and give an unadulterated DX Chop to all the fans who buried him.
However the reality was he was carrying around this glazed, Blake Griffin "I can't believe I'm going to be playing for the Clippers for six years" look on his face the whole time. That is until this past week. During the Rockies series, Guerrero finally delved into his emergency power supply and emerged a balder, yet rejuvenated hitter. Yes he still swings at pitches that bounce five feet in front of the plate at an alarming rate, but we Angels fans have come to expect and accept that from our future hall of famer.
You see, what makes Guerrero so unique is his uncanny ability to step up to the plate and hit the ball 400 feet after such a debilitating and humiliating swing. But all of a sudden he wasn't doing that. He was just swinging at bad pitches. You could tell Guerrero's leash was getting a little tight - much like the David Ortiz situation in Boston - and we were all left wondering what had happened to our goofy, yet lovable right fielder.
As his 2nd home run of the season glided over the right field wall on Wednesday, you could practically hear Angel Stadium let out a collective sigh of relief. Now even though we didn't embarrass him by asking for a curtain call (cough, Boston, cough) we did let him know that it was good to have him back - even if it was only for one night.
As for the positives, if Chone Figgins continues to play the way he's playing right now, next season he's going to be Oprah rich. Unfortunately it's not going to be the Angels who are paying him. What's going to happen is we're going to cut ties with Figgins (because he's more than likely going to be asking for too much) after this year and hope one of our highly-regarded prospects pans out, bidding an Au Revoire to another proven major leaguer in the process. It sucks. Lucky for Angels management, they're not going to have to pay Figgins a bonus for making the All-Star team considering the only spots reserved for Angels players in the Mid Summer Classic are the team's leading homerun hitter (Torii Hunter) and incumbent closer (Brian Fuentes). Hopefully Figgins catches on in a big market city in 2010 so more people will recognize and appreciate his irreplaceable contribution and astounding consistency. We're keeping his nickname though. That's ours.
Though our bullpen isn't exactly on par with the Red Sox' or the Dodgers' it is beginning to come around. We were dealt Mike Tyson blows when the durable and dependable Scot Shields went down with an arm injury and Jose Arredondo all of a sudden switched bodies with pre-glasses Ricky Vaughn. However, with the help of some serviceable arms from Salt Lake, the bullpen isn't quite as bad as it once was. Don't get me wrong, our bullpen isn't "great" by any means, but for where it started it's much improved.
So, as of June 28, 2009 the Angels are riding a 5-game win streak (winning 14 of their last 18 overall. Thanks NL West!) and are in sole possession of first place. After a rocky and frightening start, it's hard to argue that the Angels aren't once again the team to beat in the American League West.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Losing to the Dodgers Sucks
As a devout Angels fan there are certain teams that:
a) I don't like losing to
b) I hate losing to
c) I really hate losing to.
Just so you know, the Rangers, A's and Mariners fall into the "don't like losing to" tier, the Yankees and Red Sox fall into the "hate losing to" tier, and the Dodgers stand alone in the "really hate losing to" tier. I figure that a loss to the Rangers, A's or Mariners, though tough to swallow, isn't horrific considering we play each team about 20 times a year. A loss to the Yankees or Red Sox, though worse than watching From Justin to Kelly, isn't exactly reason to jump off a cliff considering we play them both about 10-12 times a season.
However, a loss to the Dodgers is worse than 4-putting from 10 feet. Losing to the Dodgers is worse than getting pantsed in front of your crush. Losing to the Dodgers hurts more than hearing Paris Hilton trying to talk politics. Losing to the Dodgers is more excruciating than watching Lindsay Lohan's digestive system trying to break down a cheeseburger. Losing to the Dodgers is worse than sliding into second and not quite making it there a la Willie Mays Hayes in "Major League." You get my point.
I really hate losing to the Dodgers 1) because we only play them 6 times a year 2) because we hail from the same region of the country and 3) because I really hate losing to the Dodgers. Our rivalry isn't on the same echelon as Yankees/Red Sox, but for Angels fans, the Dodgers are the closest thing to a rival we have.
There are many reasons to hate the Dodgers; their fans, their championships, their storied history, their perfect play-by-play TV announcer, their overpriced Dodger Dogs, their ego-driven manager, their historic ballpark with a perfect view of the Hollywood sign in the distance, etc... In actuality it's hard to find a reason not to dislike the Boys in Blue.
However, after Sunday night's 5-3 loss to Joe Torre's squad, there's one thing you can't take away from them - the impact of their homegrown prospects. So here's a little dap for the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles.
You see, the Dodgers farm system is everything the Angels' farm system was supposed to be; a breeding ground for the next big Angels superstar or superstars. Over the last two years, the Dodger's farm system has produced the nucleus of guys leading this team to the best record in the National league and at the very least a spot in the National League Championship Series. All this without their $50 million dollar left fielder.
The Angels' farm system on the other hand continues to produce borderline starters and disappointing busts. For every Mike Napoli there's been a Dallas McPherson. These touted single-A, double-A, and triple-A prospects have flourished in the minors year in and year out, yet have always seemed to shrink upon their graduation to the big leagues.
Howie Kendrick, Jeff Mathis, Erick Aybar, Kendry Morales. Those were the four homegrown prospects in the opening day lineup for the Halos. Since then, Howie Kendrick has been demoted, Jeff Mathis has assumed back-up catcher duties with his .196 batting average and Erick Aybar is dangling onto the starting lineup by his dreadlocks. The only serviceable one of the bunch is Kendry Morales who's a switch hitter that can't hit right-handed.
Maybe I'm being too harsh on the Angels farm system which has produced John Lackey and Jered Weaver (just to name a couple highly-regarded prospects that have panned out). Maybe I'm steaming after a 5-3 defeat at the hands of the effin' Dodgers. Maybe I'm immensely disappointed because now that Howie Kendrick is in the minors I won't be able to see anymore Marlon Brando-like performances by Kendrick in the Howard's Appliance and Big Screen Superstores commercials. Who knows.
All I'm wondering is when is management going to realize that proven veterans - though more expensive - are a safer bet than fresh-faced rookies. Hasn't management learned from the recent success of dependable veterans like Vladimir Guerrero, Torii Hunter and Bobby Abreu? The only exception to this is when referring to the cast of "Superbad," which had a nucleus of young, fresh-faced actors that propelled the movie to "Citizen Kane" and "Gone With The Wind" heights.
Look at the Mark Teixeira acquisition last year. We gave away Casey Kotchman, who was rounding into a quality first baseman at the time, for a proven veteran who had a long string of success in the majors. Couldn't have worked out better for us. We improved our World Series chances by a jillion by placing a patient, yet powerful first baseman in the middle of our lineup, which in turn took all the pressure off Vladimir who distanced himself from all the "he can't produce in the playoffs" stigma. You ask every Angels fan whether they'd take that Teixeira trade back and all of them will give you the same answer, no.
I've been the biggest proponent of trades this side of giddy fantasy baseball owners. If a prospect is getting a lot of hype and looks like he's going to be "the next big thing" I say trade him faster than CC Sabathia can devour a double whopper with cheese. If I've learned anything over the years it's that too many "can't miss" prospects have gone by the wayside. I don't blame the players as much as I blame the penny pinching owners and the gun shy general managers for clinging on to every rising prospect because they may be The One.
With all this said, the two out of three loses at Angels Stadium sucked, but what sucked even more was seeing the Dodgers young guns flourish and the Angels young guns flounder.
I don't like losing to the Rangers. I hate losing to the Yankees and Red Sox, but man I really hate losing to the Dodgers.
a) I don't like losing to
b) I hate losing to
c) I really hate losing to.
Just so you know, the Rangers, A's and Mariners fall into the "don't like losing to" tier, the Yankees and Red Sox fall into the "hate losing to" tier, and the Dodgers stand alone in the "really hate losing to" tier. I figure that a loss to the Rangers, A's or Mariners, though tough to swallow, isn't horrific considering we play each team about 20 times a year. A loss to the Yankees or Red Sox, though worse than watching From Justin to Kelly, isn't exactly reason to jump off a cliff considering we play them both about 10-12 times a season.
However, a loss to the Dodgers is worse than 4-putting from 10 feet. Losing to the Dodgers is worse than getting pantsed in front of your crush. Losing to the Dodgers hurts more than hearing Paris Hilton trying to talk politics. Losing to the Dodgers is more excruciating than watching Lindsay Lohan's digestive system trying to break down a cheeseburger. Losing to the Dodgers is worse than sliding into second and not quite making it there a la Willie Mays Hayes in "Major League." You get my point.
I really hate losing to the Dodgers 1) because we only play them 6 times a year 2) because we hail from the same region of the country and 3) because I really hate losing to the Dodgers. Our rivalry isn't on the same echelon as Yankees/Red Sox, but for Angels fans, the Dodgers are the closest thing to a rival we have.
There are many reasons to hate the Dodgers; their fans, their championships, their storied history, their perfect play-by-play TV announcer, their overpriced Dodger Dogs, their ego-driven manager, their historic ballpark with a perfect view of the Hollywood sign in the distance, etc... In actuality it's hard to find a reason not to dislike the Boys in Blue.
However, after Sunday night's 5-3 loss to Joe Torre's squad, there's one thing you can't take away from them - the impact of their homegrown prospects. So here's a little dap for the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles.
You see, the Dodgers farm system is everything the Angels' farm system was supposed to be; a breeding ground for the next big Angels superstar or superstars. Over the last two years, the Dodger's farm system has produced the nucleus of guys leading this team to the best record in the National league and at the very least a spot in the National League Championship Series. All this without their $50 million dollar left fielder.
The Angels' farm system on the other hand continues to produce borderline starters and disappointing busts. For every Mike Napoli there's been a Dallas McPherson. These touted single-A, double-A, and triple-A prospects have flourished in the minors year in and year out, yet have always seemed to shrink upon their graduation to the big leagues.
Howie Kendrick, Jeff Mathis, Erick Aybar, Kendry Morales. Those were the four homegrown prospects in the opening day lineup for the Halos. Since then, Howie Kendrick has been demoted, Jeff Mathis has assumed back-up catcher duties with his .196 batting average and Erick Aybar is dangling onto the starting lineup by his dreadlocks. The only serviceable one of the bunch is Kendry Morales who's a switch hitter that can't hit right-handed.
Maybe I'm being too harsh on the Angels farm system which has produced John Lackey and Jered Weaver (just to name a couple highly-regarded prospects that have panned out). Maybe I'm steaming after a 5-3 defeat at the hands of the effin' Dodgers. Maybe I'm immensely disappointed because now that Howie Kendrick is in the minors I won't be able to see anymore Marlon Brando-like performances by Kendrick in the Howard's Appliance and Big Screen Superstores commercials. Who knows.
All I'm wondering is when is management going to realize that proven veterans - though more expensive - are a safer bet than fresh-faced rookies. Hasn't management learned from the recent success of dependable veterans like Vladimir Guerrero, Torii Hunter and Bobby Abreu? The only exception to this is when referring to the cast of "Superbad," which had a nucleus of young, fresh-faced actors that propelled the movie to "Citizen Kane" and "Gone With The Wind" heights.
Look at the Mark Teixeira acquisition last year. We gave away Casey Kotchman, who was rounding into a quality first baseman at the time, for a proven veteran who had a long string of success in the majors. Couldn't have worked out better for us. We improved our World Series chances by a jillion by placing a patient, yet powerful first baseman in the middle of our lineup, which in turn took all the pressure off Vladimir who distanced himself from all the "he can't produce in the playoffs" stigma. You ask every Angels fan whether they'd take that Teixeira trade back and all of them will give you the same answer, no.
I've been the biggest proponent of trades this side of giddy fantasy baseball owners. If a prospect is getting a lot of hype and looks like he's going to be "the next big thing" I say trade him faster than CC Sabathia can devour a double whopper with cheese. If I've learned anything over the years it's that too many "can't miss" prospects have gone by the wayside. I don't blame the players as much as I blame the penny pinching owners and the gun shy general managers for clinging on to every rising prospect because they may be The One.
With all this said, the two out of three loses at Angels Stadium sucked, but what sucked even more was seeing the Dodgers young guns flourish and the Angels young guns flounder.
I don't like losing to the Rangers. I hate losing to the Yankees and Red Sox, but man I really hate losing to the Dodgers.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Angels/Dodgers, Round 4
When the Anaheim Angels suddenly changed their name to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim a heated competition for the Best Team With Los Angeles In Their Name ensued. Earlier this year the Angels took two out of three games from the first place Dodgers in Chavez Ravine highlighted by Torii Hunter's collision into the wall. With all that said, allow me to take you through the fourth game of this year's Freeway Series.
Pre-game: Welcome to Angels Stadium! We're expecting a sell-out crowd today as the NL West leading Dodgers come into town to face the second place Angels. Scattered amongst the Angels faithful are blue caps, jerseys and the subtle scent of Coronas with limes. We got Rory Markus and Mark Gubicza on the call tonight. An interesting fact about the I-5 Series: the Angels lead the all-time series 40-31, including an impressive 16-5 record in Anaheim. Why didn't we just stick to our guns and keep the Anaheim in our name? It wasn't hurting anyone.
Just a reminder, the Angels are riding a 6-game winning streak that includes two sweeps. The teams we've swept: the Padres and the Giants. The division those two teams play for, the NL West. The division the Dodgers are currently in, the NL West. All I'm saying is, what do we gotta do to switch leagues?
Going through all the defensive assignments, Gubicza casually mentions that Chone Figgins is going to make his presence felt on the defensive side of the ball this evening. Really? Chone Figgins? Does anyone feel safe with Chone Figgins as their Hot Corner Specialist? I mean when your go-to move on a hot shot is to drop to your knees and swipe at the ball blindly chances are you're not gonna win any gold gloves anytime soon. Somewhere Roger Dorn is nodding his head silently.
Torii Hunter is back in the starting lineup after running head first - literally - into the wall up in San Fransisco two games ago. At this point in his career Torii Hunter is flirting with Reggie Ray's diagnosis: Five more concussions and he'll die. This was the reaction to that play (keep in mind we're up 8-0 at that point): Torrrrrrrrrii!!! Ahh. Ohh. Oww ... That's not good. That's really not good. Torii we're up 8-0 plus Bengie Molina hit that gapper! Bengie Molina!!! He couldn't outrun Aretha Franklin for god's sake! Anyway, it's good to see Torii back in the lineup! Phew! The Angels - and my fantasy team - are looking a lot better with him patrolling center.
Another interesting fact, Chone Figgins and Juan Pierre are best friends. Who would've known?
Before we start the running diary I wanna dissect this whole Juan Pierre/Manny Ramirez ordeal. Pierre is a starter on any team in Major League Baseball, period. He hits for average and is always a threat to swipe a bag or two. He's demonstrated over this last month and a half that he's a legit starter that deserves to be playing everyday. Unfortunately the Dodgers paid $50 million to Manny Ramirez this past summer and it wouldn't matter if it was revealed in a special Outside The Lines report that he ran a drug ring with Frank Lucas, the Dodgers are going to play him. It's what the fans want, it's what the media wants, and it's what Manny wants. So come early July when Manny triumphantly returns to Mannywood, Juan Pierre's back on the bench. Juan, allow me to introduce you to Mark Loretta and Mitch Jones, you'll be rooming with them for the remainder of the season.
Top 1st: Come to find out Pierre is batting .328 over this month and a half stretch. Unbelievable. The man is on a time clock yet he still produces. When Manny steals his spot can the Angels make a run at him?
Bottom 1st: Gubicza states that Chone Figgins is making a real push to make the All-Star team with his productivity these last few weeks. Please. Doesn't Gubicza know that the only Angels contractually allowed to be on the All-Star team are the Angels' home run leader (currently Torii Hunter) and closer (currently Brian Fuentes)? The rest of those all-star spots are reserved for Yankees and Red Sox only. Chone Figgins, East Coast Bias. East Coast Bias, Chone Figgins.
With all that said, Chone Figgins leads off with a double to center field. Matt Kemp attempted to catch it but came up a wee bit short. Don't worry, if Manny Ramirez played center field he'd still be trying to find the ball in his MC Hammer pants.
No harm done when Casey Blake makes a phenomenal bare-handed play to get Torii out at first ... and wait ... Figgins gets thrown out at third on a patented Angels baserunning error. Inning over. Chone Figgins is gonna have to steal a couple bags tonight to make up for that one.
Top 2nd: Andre Ethier (the 5th batter in the lineup) walks to the plate as Markus calmly pronounces him the cleanup hitter. Uhhhh. I'm telling you, these play-by-play and color commentators have the cushiest, easiest job in the world! If I only had Joe Buck's voice. Markus also points out that the Dodgers have a .657 winning percentage this year, but it's "not as sparkling as it sounds" considering they play the majority of their games against other mediocre at best NL West teams. Ya think?!? I think the Bad News Bears played in a tougher division than the Dodgers. Markus also mentions that he thinks the league is a little "down" this year. Down? Has it ever been up? Hasn't it been getting progressively worse and worse over the years and is currently heading for bankruptcy and planning to ask President Obama for a kajillion dollar bailout soon?
Matt Kemp gets picked off at second and Erick Aybar makes a barehanded play to throw out James Loney after the ball ricocheted off of Joe Saunders glove, making the play much much harder than it needed to be. Inning over.
Bottom 2nd: Now batting, Number 27, The Designated Hitter, The Artist Formerly Known as Vladimir Guerrero!!! Vlad is carrying his 6'3" 235 lbs broken down frame up to the plate slower than Kirk Gibson in the 1988 World Series. Of course, to shut me up he singles. Where's the limp and fist pump is all I'm asking. Runners on second and third with one out and up walks Mighty Maicer.
(Sidenote: We Angels fans dubbed Maicer Izturis "Mighty Maicer" for his ability to come through in big situations. Yes, we know it's completely ironic considering he's the tiniest guy on the team and he waxes his eyebrows, but hey, we needed someone to be our "Mighty" and we chose him. We're sticking with our guns and there's nothing you can say to change our mind.)
Mighty Maicer hits an un-mighty pop fly to Matt Kemp which fails to score the runner from third. Rats! Come to think of it, is Soft Pop Up To Center Field Maicer too long?
Another amazing play by Casey Blake to squash the Angels hopes of striking the first blow on a terrific grab in foul territory. Did Casey Blake somehow hop in Doc Brown's delorean and switch bodies with the 1999 Derek Jeter? Can we prove he didn't?
Top 3rd: Mitch Jones, everyone! I know you're asking, "Mitch Jones?" Well, apparently he's spent the last century in the minors. Time must absolutely fly when you're eating fast food nightly, riding on buses and playing in front of 500 people each night. Well, the Dodgers called him up seeing they needed a designated hitter for the weekend and Manny was unavailable because he's currently on Maternity Leave.
Joe Saunders walks in a run to make it 1-0 Dodgers. Let the drunken celebrations and missed high-fives begin! Gotta hate it when the Dodgers score first in Anaheim.
Bottom 3rd: A Figgins walk, followed by an Abreu line out brings Torii back to the plate. Trying to keep Figgins close, Billingsley throws the ball away allowing Figgins to advance to second. Torii hits a high chopper past first only he thought it was heading foul but it somehow tight roped the line and generated the second out of the inning. Figgins is still standing on second. But wait!!! We get our first glimpse of the Mike Scioscia "Someone just told me a horrible joke and now I'm debating whether to laugh or just leave" Face. Gotta love it. And High Definition only makes it more comical. Vlad's at the plate. He goes on to swing at his 1,934,560th pitch in the dirt. Geez, I don't even think Pedro Cerrano missed this many curveballs. Somewhere David Ortiz is standing up and applauding. Of course, to shut me up, he singles in Figgins to make it 1-1.
Top 4th: We get out first dose of the brother vs. brother matchup for Saturday night's game. It's oftentimes forgotten that when Jered Weaver was a rookie in 2006 his brother was on the Angels. Only he was horrible. We practically pulled a Stephon Marbury and paid him to not be around the team. That year we released him and he went to go on to win the World Series with the Angels' Dumping Ground also known as the St. Louis Cardinals. Go figure.
Joe Saunders gives up a solo HR to make the score 2-1 in favor of the Dodgers. After seeing the replay Gubicza and Markus come to the conclusion that Loney's HR was a product of a hanging curveball. If you think about it "hanging curveball" is practically synonymous with "tape-measure home run". Hey! In case you didn't know the 2010 All-Star Game is going to be played in Anaheim! I wonder how long it took Bud Selig to pinpoint Anaheim on a map. 30 minutes? 45 minutes? I'm definitely going with over 10 tries.
Bottom 4th: A pretty feeble inning for the Halos, so much so I don't really recall seeing anything worth writing. Man it would suck to be a Pirates fan. This article would be much much shorter.
Top 5th: Upon Roger Lodge's arrival in the booth Rafael Furcal proceeds to hit a 2-run bomb on, you guessed it - a hanging curveball. 4-1 Dodgers. The Dodgers noise meter is getting pretty high at this point. How many Angels fans right now are dreading their seats? Not only do they gotta listen to the obnoxious Dodgers fan sitting behind them, all the while they gotta repeatedly clean off the spilled beer from their shoulders. Yikes!
Bottom 5th: To lead off the inning Erick Aybar strikes out on a "wicked" curveball. Wicked? Of course the curveball was wicked, because if it wasn't it would've been deposited in the stands by now (see: Loney, James & Furcal, Rafael). Andre Ethier botches a sliding catch leading to a Home Field Double by Figgins. Man, I haven't seen this many botched catches by a group of outfielders since my most recent adult softball game. Wow, Figgins is 2-2 with a walk on the night. I guess he really is making a last ditch all-star pu ... Wow, Russell Martin just picked off Figgins at first on a throw-behind pick off. I believe that runs the tally up to Base Paths: 2, Chone Figgins, 0. Almost on cue, Bobby Abreu grounds out to first to end the inning.
Bottom 6th: After six innings I've noticed that Billingsley stands in disgust after every bad pitch for a couple seconds like I do after every bad drive, iron shot, chip shot and putt. He just walked Torii Hunter so he's situated like I am after missing a 3-foot putt to save double bogey. After a Guerrero infield single, a Juan Rivera sac fly, and a walk to Kendry Morales, Billingsley is starting to resemble me after a 4-putt.
With the bases chucked Soft Pop Up To Center Field Maicer strolls to the plate and ... a ground ball to right!!! Torii and Vlad come around to make the score. 4-3 Dodgers. OK OK, Maicer's earned his ironic nickname back. A Mike Napoli sac fly scores Morales and an Aybar ground out ends the inning. 4-3 Dodgers.
Top 7th: Joe Saunders retires Pierre, who seems to have about 10 at-bats this game. Seriously, every time they show someone in the on-deck circle Juan Pierre is taking hacks. Maybe he cloned himself to show Dodgers management two Juan Pierre's are better - and cheaper - than one Manny Ramirez. Jason Bulger relieves Saunders and promptly gives up an infield single to Orlando Hudson. Luckily Casey "Throw me a curveball in the dirt and I'm good to swing at it" Blake is the next batter and almost like clockwork Bulger strikes him out to end the inning.
Bottom 7th: Once again we hear about the Figgins/Pierre friendship. I'm putting the number of references to their friendship for this series at 39.5 and taking the over. Vlad feablily grounds into an inning-ending double play.
Top 8th: Darren Oliver is on in relief of Bulger. After a Matt Kemp single we get the privilege of seeing an X-Mo replay of Oliver's delivery. I can practically see the seams of his pants stretching to unsafe levels. Here are five words Angles fans dread: Justin Speier is warming up. After a strike out by Loney, a steal by Kemp, an intentional walk to Martin, Jones comes up with a chance to be the hero. Only, Joe Torre pulls him for the ageless Mark Loretta. Here are five more words Angels fans dread hearing: Justin Speier is coming in. The graphic shows Speier's ERA currently at 4.58 and a little sidebar shows that he has a 1.84 ERA in his last 14 appearances. His total number of appearances for the season is 23 which makes you wonder, WHAT WAS HE DOING THE OTHER 9 APPEARANCES?!?!? Almost on cue, he walks Mark Loretta on 5 pitches to load the bases. We get another shot of the Mike Scioscia Face but this time I'd much rather see the Tony Reagins "I can't believe I signed this guy, I must have been hammered when I signed the contract" Face. Two outs.
Speier gets the ever-present Pierre to fly out to left to end the inning. Phew! Wait a second, we get a shot of Speier giving a Dikembe Mutumbo-esque finger wave for some strange reason. I'm interpreting it as a middle finger to fans like me.
Bottom 8th: Juan Rivera mashes a hanging slider to left field after a 9-pitch AB for his 10th homer of the year. Don't these pitchers know that if you curveball is not "wicked" it's gonna get hit a long way? So far we've seen three hanging curveballs leave the pitchers hand and none of them have come back. Luckily, Rivera's home run leads to the most unintentionally comedic curtain call of all-time. Granted, I wasn't at the game so I couldn't hear how loud the cheers were for Rivera after he hit that shot but I just saw a replay in which Rivera proceeded to give a curtain call, only nobody even noticed he even came out. Hilarious. I had to rewind and see that a couple times to believe it.
Top 9th: Though hearing "Brian Fuentes is on to close" is better than hearing "K-Rod is on to close" it's not by much. After a Furcal single, a Hudson sacrifice, and a Casey Blake strike out, Fuentes gives up a 4-pitch walk to Andre Ethier. Wait a second, is that K-Rod out on the mound wearing a Fuentes jersey? On an 0-2 count to Matt Kemp the crowd in unison stands. Dodgers fans are noticeably grimacing because their holding their bladder to Hoover Dam level. And the pitch ... STRIKE THREE!!! He struck him out!!! Just another Halo Victory!
Angels, 5. Dodgers, 4.
To recap, that extends the Angels winning streak to seven in a row - all against NL West teams. Three wins out of the last four games against the Dodgers and with Texas losing that brings the Halos within one game of first place in the AL West.
Once again, what do we gotta do to switch leagues? Surrender the 2010 All-Star Game?
Pre-game: Welcome to Angels Stadium! We're expecting a sell-out crowd today as the NL West leading Dodgers come into town to face the second place Angels. Scattered amongst the Angels faithful are blue caps, jerseys and the subtle scent of Coronas with limes. We got Rory Markus and Mark Gubicza on the call tonight. An interesting fact about the I-5 Series: the Angels lead the all-time series 40-31, including an impressive 16-5 record in Anaheim. Why didn't we just stick to our guns and keep the Anaheim in our name? It wasn't hurting anyone.
Just a reminder, the Angels are riding a 6-game winning streak that includes two sweeps. The teams we've swept: the Padres and the Giants. The division those two teams play for, the NL West. The division the Dodgers are currently in, the NL West. All I'm saying is, what do we gotta do to switch leagues?
Going through all the defensive assignments, Gubicza casually mentions that Chone Figgins is going to make his presence felt on the defensive side of the ball this evening. Really? Chone Figgins? Does anyone feel safe with Chone Figgins as their Hot Corner Specialist? I mean when your go-to move on a hot shot is to drop to your knees and swipe at the ball blindly chances are you're not gonna win any gold gloves anytime soon. Somewhere Roger Dorn is nodding his head silently.
Torii Hunter is back in the starting lineup after running head first - literally - into the wall up in San Fransisco two games ago. At this point in his career Torii Hunter is flirting with Reggie Ray's diagnosis: Five more concussions and he'll die. This was the reaction to that play (keep in mind we're up 8-0 at that point): Torrrrrrrrrii!!! Ahh. Ohh. Oww ... That's not good. That's really not good. Torii we're up 8-0 plus Bengie Molina hit that gapper! Bengie Molina!!! He couldn't outrun Aretha Franklin for god's sake! Anyway, it's good to see Torii back in the lineup! Phew! The Angels - and my fantasy team - are looking a lot better with him patrolling center.
Another interesting fact, Chone Figgins and Juan Pierre are best friends. Who would've known?
Before we start the running diary I wanna dissect this whole Juan Pierre/Manny Ramirez ordeal. Pierre is a starter on any team in Major League Baseball, period. He hits for average and is always a threat to swipe a bag or two. He's demonstrated over this last month and a half that he's a legit starter that deserves to be playing everyday. Unfortunately the Dodgers paid $50 million to Manny Ramirez this past summer and it wouldn't matter if it was revealed in a special Outside The Lines report that he ran a drug ring with Frank Lucas, the Dodgers are going to play him. It's what the fans want, it's what the media wants, and it's what Manny wants. So come early July when Manny triumphantly returns to Mannywood, Juan Pierre's back on the bench. Juan, allow me to introduce you to Mark Loretta and Mitch Jones, you'll be rooming with them for the remainder of the season.
Top 1st: Come to find out Pierre is batting .328 over this month and a half stretch. Unbelievable. The man is on a time clock yet he still produces. When Manny steals his spot can the Angels make a run at him?
Bottom 1st: Gubicza states that Chone Figgins is making a real push to make the All-Star team with his productivity these last few weeks. Please. Doesn't Gubicza know that the only Angels contractually allowed to be on the All-Star team are the Angels' home run leader (currently Torii Hunter) and closer (currently Brian Fuentes)? The rest of those all-star spots are reserved for Yankees and Red Sox only. Chone Figgins, East Coast Bias. East Coast Bias, Chone Figgins.
With all that said, Chone Figgins leads off with a double to center field. Matt Kemp attempted to catch it but came up a wee bit short. Don't worry, if Manny Ramirez played center field he'd still be trying to find the ball in his MC Hammer pants.
No harm done when Casey Blake makes a phenomenal bare-handed play to get Torii out at first ... and wait ... Figgins gets thrown out at third on a patented Angels baserunning error. Inning over. Chone Figgins is gonna have to steal a couple bags tonight to make up for that one.
Top 2nd: Andre Ethier (the 5th batter in the lineup) walks to the plate as Markus calmly pronounces him the cleanup hitter. Uhhhh. I'm telling you, these play-by-play and color commentators have the cushiest, easiest job in the world! If I only had Joe Buck's voice. Markus also points out that the Dodgers have a .657 winning percentage this year, but it's "not as sparkling as it sounds" considering they play the majority of their games against other mediocre at best NL West teams. Ya think?!? I think the Bad News Bears played in a tougher division than the Dodgers. Markus also mentions that he thinks the league is a little "down" this year. Down? Has it ever been up? Hasn't it been getting progressively worse and worse over the years and is currently heading for bankruptcy and planning to ask President Obama for a kajillion dollar bailout soon?
Matt Kemp gets picked off at second and Erick Aybar makes a barehanded play to throw out James Loney after the ball ricocheted off of Joe Saunders glove, making the play much much harder than it needed to be. Inning over.
Bottom 2nd: Now batting, Number 27, The Designated Hitter, The Artist Formerly Known as Vladimir Guerrero!!! Vlad is carrying his 6'3" 235 lbs broken down frame up to the plate slower than Kirk Gibson in the 1988 World Series. Of course, to shut me up he singles. Where's the limp and fist pump is all I'm asking. Runners on second and third with one out and up walks Mighty Maicer.
(Sidenote: We Angels fans dubbed Maicer Izturis "Mighty Maicer" for his ability to come through in big situations. Yes, we know it's completely ironic considering he's the tiniest guy on the team and he waxes his eyebrows, but hey, we needed someone to be our "Mighty" and we chose him. We're sticking with our guns and there's nothing you can say to change our mind.)
Mighty Maicer hits an un-mighty pop fly to Matt Kemp which fails to score the runner from third. Rats! Come to think of it, is Soft Pop Up To Center Field Maicer too long?
Another amazing play by Casey Blake to squash the Angels hopes of striking the first blow on a terrific grab in foul territory. Did Casey Blake somehow hop in Doc Brown's delorean and switch bodies with the 1999 Derek Jeter? Can we prove he didn't?
Top 3rd: Mitch Jones, everyone! I know you're asking, "Mitch Jones?" Well, apparently he's spent the last century in the minors. Time must absolutely fly when you're eating fast food nightly, riding on buses and playing in front of 500 people each night. Well, the Dodgers called him up seeing they needed a designated hitter for the weekend and Manny was unavailable because he's currently on Maternity Leave.
Joe Saunders walks in a run to make it 1-0 Dodgers. Let the drunken celebrations and missed high-fives begin! Gotta hate it when the Dodgers score first in Anaheim.
Bottom 3rd: A Figgins walk, followed by an Abreu line out brings Torii back to the plate. Trying to keep Figgins close, Billingsley throws the ball away allowing Figgins to advance to second. Torii hits a high chopper past first only he thought it was heading foul but it somehow tight roped the line and generated the second out of the inning. Figgins is still standing on second. But wait!!! We get our first glimpse of the Mike Scioscia "Someone just told me a horrible joke and now I'm debating whether to laugh or just leave" Face. Gotta love it. And High Definition only makes it more comical. Vlad's at the plate. He goes on to swing at his 1,934,560th pitch in the dirt. Geez, I don't even think Pedro Cerrano missed this many curveballs. Somewhere David Ortiz is standing up and applauding. Of course, to shut me up, he singles in Figgins to make it 1-1.
Top 4th: We get out first dose of the brother vs. brother matchup for Saturday night's game. It's oftentimes forgotten that when Jered Weaver was a rookie in 2006 his brother was on the Angels. Only he was horrible. We practically pulled a Stephon Marbury and paid him to not be around the team. That year we released him and he went to go on to win the World Series with the Angels' Dumping Ground also known as the St. Louis Cardinals. Go figure.
Joe Saunders gives up a solo HR to make the score 2-1 in favor of the Dodgers. After seeing the replay Gubicza and Markus come to the conclusion that Loney's HR was a product of a hanging curveball. If you think about it "hanging curveball" is practically synonymous with "tape-measure home run". Hey! In case you didn't know the 2010 All-Star Game is going to be played in Anaheim! I wonder how long it took Bud Selig to pinpoint Anaheim on a map. 30 minutes? 45 minutes? I'm definitely going with over 10 tries.
Bottom 4th: A pretty feeble inning for the Halos, so much so I don't really recall seeing anything worth writing. Man it would suck to be a Pirates fan. This article would be much much shorter.
Top 5th: Upon Roger Lodge's arrival in the booth Rafael Furcal proceeds to hit a 2-run bomb on, you guessed it - a hanging curveball. 4-1 Dodgers. The Dodgers noise meter is getting pretty high at this point. How many Angels fans right now are dreading their seats? Not only do they gotta listen to the obnoxious Dodgers fan sitting behind them, all the while they gotta repeatedly clean off the spilled beer from their shoulders. Yikes!
Bottom 5th: To lead off the inning Erick Aybar strikes out on a "wicked" curveball. Wicked? Of course the curveball was wicked, because if it wasn't it would've been deposited in the stands by now (see: Loney, James & Furcal, Rafael). Andre Ethier botches a sliding catch leading to a Home Field Double by Figgins. Man, I haven't seen this many botched catches by a group of outfielders since my most recent adult softball game. Wow, Figgins is 2-2 with a walk on the night. I guess he really is making a last ditch all-star pu ... Wow, Russell Martin just picked off Figgins at first on a throw-behind pick off. I believe that runs the tally up to Base Paths: 2, Chone Figgins, 0. Almost on cue, Bobby Abreu grounds out to first to end the inning.
Bottom 6th: After six innings I've noticed that Billingsley stands in disgust after every bad pitch for a couple seconds like I do after every bad drive, iron shot, chip shot and putt. He just walked Torii Hunter so he's situated like I am after missing a 3-foot putt to save double bogey. After a Guerrero infield single, a Juan Rivera sac fly, and a walk to Kendry Morales, Billingsley is starting to resemble me after a 4-putt.
With the bases chucked Soft Pop Up To Center Field Maicer strolls to the plate and ... a ground ball to right!!! Torii and Vlad come around to make the score. 4-3 Dodgers. OK OK, Maicer's earned his ironic nickname back. A Mike Napoli sac fly scores Morales and an Aybar ground out ends the inning. 4-3 Dodgers.
Top 7th: Joe Saunders retires Pierre, who seems to have about 10 at-bats this game. Seriously, every time they show someone in the on-deck circle Juan Pierre is taking hacks. Maybe he cloned himself to show Dodgers management two Juan Pierre's are better - and cheaper - than one Manny Ramirez. Jason Bulger relieves Saunders and promptly gives up an infield single to Orlando Hudson. Luckily Casey "Throw me a curveball in the dirt and I'm good to swing at it" Blake is the next batter and almost like clockwork Bulger strikes him out to end the inning.
Bottom 7th: Once again we hear about the Figgins/Pierre friendship. I'm putting the number of references to their friendship for this series at 39.5 and taking the over. Vlad feablily grounds into an inning-ending double play.
Top 8th: Darren Oliver is on in relief of Bulger. After a Matt Kemp single we get the privilege of seeing an X-Mo replay of Oliver's delivery. I can practically see the seams of his pants stretching to unsafe levels. Here are five words Angles fans dread: Justin Speier is warming up. After a strike out by Loney, a steal by Kemp, an intentional walk to Martin, Jones comes up with a chance to be the hero. Only, Joe Torre pulls him for the ageless Mark Loretta. Here are five more words Angels fans dread hearing: Justin Speier is coming in. The graphic shows Speier's ERA currently at 4.58 and a little sidebar shows that he has a 1.84 ERA in his last 14 appearances. His total number of appearances for the season is 23 which makes you wonder, WHAT WAS HE DOING THE OTHER 9 APPEARANCES?!?!? Almost on cue, he walks Mark Loretta on 5 pitches to load the bases. We get another shot of the Mike Scioscia Face but this time I'd much rather see the Tony Reagins "I can't believe I signed this guy, I must have been hammered when I signed the contract" Face. Two outs.
Speier gets the ever-present Pierre to fly out to left to end the inning. Phew! Wait a second, we get a shot of Speier giving a Dikembe Mutumbo-esque finger wave for some strange reason. I'm interpreting it as a middle finger to fans like me.
Bottom 8th: Juan Rivera mashes a hanging slider to left field after a 9-pitch AB for his 10th homer of the year. Don't these pitchers know that if you curveball is not "wicked" it's gonna get hit a long way? So far we've seen three hanging curveballs leave the pitchers hand and none of them have come back. Luckily, Rivera's home run leads to the most unintentionally comedic curtain call of all-time. Granted, I wasn't at the game so I couldn't hear how loud the cheers were for Rivera after he hit that shot but I just saw a replay in which Rivera proceeded to give a curtain call, only nobody even noticed he even came out. Hilarious. I had to rewind and see that a couple times to believe it.
Top 9th: Though hearing "Brian Fuentes is on to close" is better than hearing "K-Rod is on to close" it's not by much. After a Furcal single, a Hudson sacrifice, and a Casey Blake strike out, Fuentes gives up a 4-pitch walk to Andre Ethier. Wait a second, is that K-Rod out on the mound wearing a Fuentes jersey? On an 0-2 count to Matt Kemp the crowd in unison stands. Dodgers fans are noticeably grimacing because their holding their bladder to Hoover Dam level. And the pitch ... STRIKE THREE!!! He struck him out!!! Just another Halo Victory!
Angels, 5. Dodgers, 4.
To recap, that extends the Angels winning streak to seven in a row - all against NL West teams. Three wins out of the last four games against the Dodgers and with Texas losing that brings the Halos within one game of first place in the AL West.
Once again, what do we gotta do to switch leagues? Surrender the 2010 All-Star Game?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
The Shaq Theory
My high school basketball coach once told me, "Brian, a great center will win you games, but a great guard will win you championships." Fitting, considering during my best high school basketball season I was the all-league center on a quality yet guard-less squad that finished the year 14-13 and reached the second round of the C.I.F. Southern Section Championships.
I didn't quite understand his logic until the following season (the year after I graduated) when he was able to somehow lure a proven high school point guard (who had just come off a C.I.F. Southern Section Championship the year before) to a less-than-outstanding basketball program at my Alma Mater. The team, which basically had all the same parts from my senior season, instantly took off. They began embarrassing teams by 20-30 points a night while leaving a vapor trail behind them in the standings.
Naturally, my jealousy kicked in. I saw that these once uncoordinated, unreliable basketball players were finally coming into their own behind the play of their all-world point guard. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I encountered sleepless nights wondering how my career would've benefited from playing alongside a skilled PG night in and night out.
I envisioned a situation similar to Owen Wilson's acting career. Starting out, you sort of knew who I was and semi-respected me because I held my own in movies like "Armageddon" and "The Haunting," but it wasn't until I teamed up with creative mastermind Ben Stiller that my career blossomed. A year later, I'm Owen Freakin' Wilson!!! I had a good run with Stiller running the point in comedies like "Meet the Parents," "Meet the Fockers," and "Zoolander," and even branched out on my own in "Wedding Crashers." (But eventually without Stiller's influence, I hit the down slope of my career and now all I do is put out box office deadpans like "Marley and Me," "Drillbit Taylor," and "You, Me and Dupree." But that's besides the point.)
Looking back on my high school basketball career I couldn't have played any better over a three year stretch (20 ppg/10 rpg for three solid seasons) yet we only made it to the post season my junior year. Then after my departure a quality point guard comes in and instantly takes the team - and school - to unworldly heights.
These parallels bring me to the career of the always entertaining, very quotable and quite exuberant Shaquille O'Neal.
Much has been made recently regarding Kobe's quest for an NBA Championship sans The Diesel, (and his dependence on Shaq for his first three rings, in the first place) yet very little has been made about Shaq's diminishing value, childish behavior and his dependence on #24 for his three rings.
Shaquille O'Neal was once the most dominating force on this planet. Comparable only to Liam Neeson single-handily tearing through Paris to find his daughter in "Taken," The Diesel destroyed opponents like The Octomom destroyed her cervix. His 27,619 points (5th all-time) and 12,566 rebounds (15th all-time) place him in legendary - repeat, legendary - company. A career full of entertainment, productivity and destruction has undoubtedly cemented Shaq's place next to Kareem, Wilt, Russell, Ewing and Olajuwon in the Centers wing of the NBA Hall of Fame.
His four NBA championships and three Finals MVPs speak for themselves. (Come to think of it, it's really amazing how Nike hasn't replaced the post-humorous LeBron puppet with a Shaq puppet yet. I mean what would be more entertaining then seeing the two of them go at it for :45 seconds. Just imagine all the taunting Puppet Shaq would be doing to Puppet Kobe: "Yo! Kobe! I'm making dinner, can you tell me how my [bleep] tastes!" or "You ain't gettin it Kobe, you ain't gettin it!" or "Kobe, you lookin for your championship rings? Oh, here they are, right here on my fingers!" The possibilities are literally endless. With Shaq's sense of humor and Nike's creative genius a Shaq/Kobe Nike commercial could give all those classic Kobe/LeBron Nike commercials a run for their money.) However, The Diesel isn't exactly taking the quiet approach to this year's NBA Finals.
Never mind the fact Shaq's two former teams are competing for the vacant NBA crown, Shaq has repeatedly taken shots at and voiced his displeasure for former coach Stan Van Gundy and has continued to belittle the heir apparent to his XXXXL throne, Dwight Howard.
In February of 2008, Bill Walton criticized Shaq's (who was playing in Miami at the time) integrity by questioning the severity of his documented injuries that forced him to miss an extensive amount of time. Those injuries eventually led to Miami frantically dealing him to Phoenix for some Cactus Cooler and an armadillo. What Walton was getting at was Shaq's miraculous recovery after leaving Miami. To make a long story short Walton questioned Shaq's motives and wondered whether Superman was faking his injuries to get a first-class ticket out of South Beach, considering the honeymoon with the Heat was fading, fast. Walton rationalized this critique once Shaq's seemingly severe injuries disappeared upon his arrival in Phoenix where he performed a cannon ball into the fountain of youth and emerged a rejuvenated Diesel in 08'.
Needless to say Shaq took offense to Walton's comments and quickly flung a few zingers Walton's way, mentioning that Walton had "broken the Big Man's Code." Well, a year and a half later, on the cusp of the biggest month of Howard's budding young career, Shaq has openly ridiculed the reigning defensive player of the year even going as far as tweeting a repulsive picture of a Stan Van Gundy/Dwight Howard baby. Who's breaking the Big Man's Code now?
I mean, if there is a Big Man's Club bound together by a Big Man's Code, doesn't the man with the biggest shoulders in sporting history have a membership?
Shaq's bitterness towards his former team (Orlando) apparently comes from his jealous, I'm The Great Shaq Didn't You See Me In "Kazaam" nature. The years following his premature departure from Los Angeles, O'Neal did everything but mold a replica Larry O'Brien trophy out of paper mache to claim a Kobe-less NBA title (which he was able to accomplish in 2005 with the Heat). Contrary to what Shaq may have said at the time, Shaq didn't win the title for the city of Miami. Or the Heat. Or Dwayne Wade. Or Pat Riley. In the days and years following the 05'-06' season, it appeared more and more like he solemnly cared about winning a title for himself; more importantly away from The City of Angels to prove to the world the Lakers made a mistake for trading him.
Fast forward to 2009, now that Kobe had a real shot at winning his first Shaq-less NBA title the tides have suddenly turned which gives me a chance to propose a new twist on the highly-disputed question: Did Kobe need Shaq to win his three rings or is it the other way around?
Well, after hours of mindlessly rummaging through basketball-reference.com like Nick Cage rummaging through piles of ludicrous prospective movie scripts (see: Bangkok Dangerous and Ghost Rider) I can offer this conclusion: Shaq needed Kobe to win his first three rings.
Shaquille O'Neal came into the league in 1992. As a rookie, his Orlando squad missed the playoffs as O'Neal started 81 games for the fifth year, Florida-based franchise. His averages that year: 23.4 ppg, 13.9 rpg, 3.5 bpg. Astonishing. Epic. Unbelievable, even. It's safe to say the big man with the bigger personality nabbed Rookie of the Year honors in a draft class that included eventual teammates Alonzo Mourning and Robert Horry. The Magic finished the season at a respectable 41-41 but the 20-year-old O'Neal spent his first NBA summer watching the playoffs from his king sized bed.
In his sophomore outing Shaq averaged 29.3 ppg, 13.2 rpg, 2.9 bpg and led the Magic to their first ever playoff appearance where they fell to the Indiana Pacers in the first round, 3-0. In Shaq's first postseason appearance, he averaged 20.7/13.3/2.3. The Diesel had officially arrived. Over the next two years (his two final years in Orlando) Shaq averaged 25.7/11.9/3.3 (ast.) in the 94' playoffs and 25.8/10.0/4.6 (ast.) in the 95' playoffs, yet his team got swept in the NBA Finals by the Rockets and then again in the Eastern Conference Finals by the Michael Jordan-led Bulls.
During Shaq's three playoff runs in Orlando he had an up-and-coming Penny Hardaway who threw up increasing season averages over the course of three years and a more than reliable Nick Anderson handling the rock. However, after four years of missed opportunities and shortcomings, Shaq left The Sunshine State in the summer of 1996 with a mediocre playoff record of 18-18.
Enter Los Angeles.
At the time of Shaq's arrival in La La Land, the Lakers had come fresh off an impressive 53-win season yet their season came to an abrupt end with a disappointing first round exit (3-1 to the Rockets) in the playoffs. Instantly, the Shaq acquisition brought new hope to Lakers fans who longed for the days of the Showtime Lakers. Shaq finished his inaugural Lakers season averaging 26.2/12.5/2.9 alongside a versatile, second-year swingman in Eddie Jones (17.2 ppg/4.1 rpg/3.4 apg), a serviceable point guard in Nick Van Exel (15.3 ppg/8.5 apg), and an 18-year-old rookie by the name of Kobe Bryant. Shaq's Lakers lost in the Western Finals that year, 4-1 to the Utah Jazz (Shaq's playoff averages: 26.9/10.6; Kobe's averages: 8.2/1.2), followed by a demoralizing 4-0 sweep the next year at the hands of the same Jazz squad (Shaq's playoff averages: 30.5/10.2; Kobe's averages: 8.7/1.9) .
In the lockout-shortened 1998-99 season the Lakers finished with a 31-19 record and got swept in the Western semifinals by the eventual NBA champs San Antonio Spurs. That season an up-and-coming Kobe Bryant emerged as a quality guard, apparent by his increasing averages throughout the season (points: 19.9, rebounds: 5.3, assists: 3.8) and in the postseason (19.8/6.9/4.6).
In the 1999-2000 campaign the Lakers had finally become a full-fledged powerhouse as they finished with a league best 67-15 record and steamrolled their way to the NBA Finals. That year Shaq put up a career high in points, averaging 29.7 over the course of the season en route to being named league MVP. A maturing Kobe Bryant once again increased his numbers, averaging a then career high 22.5 ppg/6.3 rpg/4.9 apg. The Shaq/Kobe combo went on to beat the Pacers in six games to claim their first title together and the Lakers 12th title as a franchise. During that magical playoff run Shaq averaged a historic 30.7 ppg, 15.4 rpg, 3.1 apg on his way to collecting his first Finals MVP. Yet, Kobe wasn't a slotch by any means. Kobe's impressive emergence in the 2000 NBA playoffs (21.1/4.5/4.4) suddenly blasted him to superstardom.
The following year Shaq averaged 30.4/15.4/3.2 as the Lakers went on to demolish an overmatched 76ers squad in five games to complete the title defense. That year, an improving Bryant put up equally impressive numbers including 28.5 ppg on the season and an inspiring 29.4 ppg/7.3 rpg/6.1 apg during the playoffs. It was official, even though Shaq nabbed his second consecutive Finals MVP, Kobe Bryant had arrived.
In the final Dynasty year, the Lakers (58-24) swept the overwhelmed New Jersey Nets to claim their third title in as many years behind the Kobe/Shaq duo and their 26.6 ppg and 28.5 ppg playoff averages, respectively. Like clockwork, Shaq claimed his third consecutive Finals MVP as Kobe once again played Robin to Shaq's Batman.
Now as you take time to digest all those number I just threw at you, remember that Shaq was putting up huge playoff numbers in an Orlando uniform (three years: 25.3 ppg/11.6 rpg) yet couldn't quite reach a title. And it's not like Shaq didn't have help during his time in Florida. His swingman Penny Hardaway averaged a respectable 18.7/6.7/7.0 in 93-94, 19.6/3.8/7.7 in 94-95 and 23.3/4.7/6.0 in 95-96. As a matter of fact, during that three year stretch Penny Hardaway was a starter on the All-Star team in 94' and 95' and carried the Magic to a 17-5 record after Shaq went down with an injury to start the 95' season. In other words, it's not like Shaq was playing with cast-offs, has-beens and fresh-out-of-high-school scrubs.
Even during his first two years in a Lakers uniform, Shaq was unable to take his team to the promise land with Jones and Van Exel as his sidekicks. It wasn't until Kobe Bryant emerged as a legitimate scorer and one of the top 20 players in the league that Shaq begin to win in the postseason with consistency. His pre-"just heading into my prime" Kobe (1994-1998) playoff record: 29-29, no titles, .500 winning percentage. His "OK, I'm officially in my prime" Kobe playoff record through the three-peat: 48-18, three titles, .727 winning percentage.
In the larger scheme of things at this point in Shaq's career he's completely expendable. During the NBA all-star break there was talk of Shaq possibly returning to Los Angeles to play alongside Kobe again even if it meant he had to come off the bench (behind Andrew Bynum, someone else Shaq openly criticized) in a supportive role, just as long as it meant he had a shot at a title. Yeah, right. That's like saying Jennifer Aniston wouldn't mind participating in a threesome with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie if it meant she could have the third lead role in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2."
In the last four years Shaq has switched uniforms twice and it's looking more and more like he's going to be trading in his Phoenix jersey for another one this summer. Look, Shaq's nearing the end of his career, there's no doubt about that. His production - and contract - is becoming disposable as his production continues to drop. It happens. Even Joe Montana was traded to the Chiefs, Brett Favre was traded to the Jets, Hakeem Olajuwon was traded to the Raptors, Patrick Ewing was traded to the SuperSonics then to the Orlando Magic. I get it, talent begins to fade and teams start looking for younger, more agile, and cheaper players.
With this said, can you see Kobe Bryant being traded? Ever? Will the Lakers ever toss around Kobe Bryant's contract like TLC is tossing around Jon and Kate Gosselin's soon-to-be-expiring "Jon and Kate Plus 8" contract?
Forgive me if I'm wrong but I don't see it happening. Ever. Shaq will get an offer to do "Kazaam 2" before Kobe effin' Bryant gets traded.
In the end, The Diesel had all the tools and all the assets to go the distance with the Orlando Magic team he inherited his rookie season, but couldn't do it. Not his first year, his second, his third, or his fourth. He wasn't playing with the likes of Chris Mihm, Jumaine Jones, Kareem Rush, Smush Parker, Stanislav Medvedenko, Samaki Walker, and Kwame Brown like Kobe was during the post-Shaq years - to which he was endlessly being scrutinized for being a selfish player and a bad teammate. I MEAN LOOK AT THOSE GUYS!!! Those guys wouldn't be starters in a pick-up game at 24-Hour Fitness let alone the NBA.
All this postmortem talk that Kobe needed Shaq to win his three titles and now he needs to prove he can win without Shaq is bull. Unfortunately, what keeps this discussion going is Shaq's antics throughout it all. His celebration in Kobe's failures. Though Shaq may say he wants Kobe to win his fourth title this year, a part in him certainly knows if #24 is to raise the Larry O'Brien trophy in two weeks time, Kobe not only won without him, he one-upped him. Unlike Shaq, Kobe can confidently say he was the best player on a post-Dynasty team.
Like my coach told me, a great center will win you games, but a great guard will win you championships. Shaq will go down as one of the top-5 centers of all-time when it's all said and done, but you better believe his hand would definately be a lot lighter had it not been for the emergence of one, Kobe Bryant.
I didn't quite understand his logic until the following season (the year after I graduated) when he was able to somehow lure a proven high school point guard (who had just come off a C.I.F. Southern Section Championship the year before) to a less-than-outstanding basketball program at my Alma Mater. The team, which basically had all the same parts from my senior season, instantly took off. They began embarrassing teams by 20-30 points a night while leaving a vapor trail behind them in the standings.
Naturally, my jealousy kicked in. I saw that these once uncoordinated, unreliable basketball players were finally coming into their own behind the play of their all-world point guard. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I encountered sleepless nights wondering how my career would've benefited from playing alongside a skilled PG night in and night out.
I envisioned a situation similar to Owen Wilson's acting career. Starting out, you sort of knew who I was and semi-respected me because I held my own in movies like "Armageddon" and "The Haunting," but it wasn't until I teamed up with creative mastermind Ben Stiller that my career blossomed. A year later, I'm Owen Freakin' Wilson!!! I had a good run with Stiller running the point in comedies like "Meet the Parents," "Meet the Fockers," and "Zoolander," and even branched out on my own in "Wedding Crashers." (But eventually without Stiller's influence, I hit the down slope of my career and now all I do is put out box office deadpans like "Marley and Me," "Drillbit Taylor," and "You, Me and Dupree." But that's besides the point.)
Looking back on my high school basketball career I couldn't have played any better over a three year stretch (20 ppg/10 rpg for three solid seasons) yet we only made it to the post season my junior year. Then after my departure a quality point guard comes in and instantly takes the team - and school - to unworldly heights.
These parallels bring me to the career of the always entertaining, very quotable and quite exuberant Shaquille O'Neal.
Much has been made recently regarding Kobe's quest for an NBA Championship sans The Diesel, (and his dependence on Shaq for his first three rings, in the first place) yet very little has been made about Shaq's diminishing value, childish behavior and his dependence on #24 for his three rings.
Shaquille O'Neal was once the most dominating force on this planet. Comparable only to Liam Neeson single-handily tearing through Paris to find his daughter in "Taken," The Diesel destroyed opponents like The Octomom destroyed her cervix. His 27,619 points (5th all-time) and 12,566 rebounds (15th all-time) place him in legendary - repeat, legendary - company. A career full of entertainment, productivity and destruction has undoubtedly cemented Shaq's place next to Kareem, Wilt, Russell, Ewing and Olajuwon in the Centers wing of the NBA Hall of Fame.
His four NBA championships and three Finals MVPs speak for themselves. (Come to think of it, it's really amazing how Nike hasn't replaced the post-humorous LeBron puppet with a Shaq puppet yet. I mean what would be more entertaining then seeing the two of them go at it for :45 seconds. Just imagine all the taunting Puppet Shaq would be doing to Puppet Kobe: "Yo! Kobe! I'm making dinner, can you tell me how my [bleep] tastes!" or "You ain't gettin it Kobe, you ain't gettin it!" or "Kobe, you lookin for your championship rings? Oh, here they are, right here on my fingers!" The possibilities are literally endless. With Shaq's sense of humor and Nike's creative genius a Shaq/Kobe Nike commercial could give all those classic Kobe/LeBron Nike commercials a run for their money.) However, The Diesel isn't exactly taking the quiet approach to this year's NBA Finals.
Never mind the fact Shaq's two former teams are competing for the vacant NBA crown, Shaq has repeatedly taken shots at and voiced his displeasure for former coach Stan Van Gundy and has continued to belittle the heir apparent to his XXXXL throne, Dwight Howard.
In February of 2008, Bill Walton criticized Shaq's (who was playing in Miami at the time) integrity by questioning the severity of his documented injuries that forced him to miss an extensive amount of time. Those injuries eventually led to Miami frantically dealing him to Phoenix for some Cactus Cooler and an armadillo. What Walton was getting at was Shaq's miraculous recovery after leaving Miami. To make a long story short Walton questioned Shaq's motives and wondered whether Superman was faking his injuries to get a first-class ticket out of South Beach, considering the honeymoon with the Heat was fading, fast. Walton rationalized this critique once Shaq's seemingly severe injuries disappeared upon his arrival in Phoenix where he performed a cannon ball into the fountain of youth and emerged a rejuvenated Diesel in 08'.
Needless to say Shaq took offense to Walton's comments and quickly flung a few zingers Walton's way, mentioning that Walton had "broken the Big Man's Code." Well, a year and a half later, on the cusp of the biggest month of Howard's budding young career, Shaq has openly ridiculed the reigning defensive player of the year even going as far as tweeting a repulsive picture of a Stan Van Gundy/Dwight Howard baby. Who's breaking the Big Man's Code now?
I mean, if there is a Big Man's Club bound together by a Big Man's Code, doesn't the man with the biggest shoulders in sporting history have a membership?
Shaq's bitterness towards his former team (Orlando) apparently comes from his jealous, I'm The Great Shaq Didn't You See Me In "Kazaam" nature. The years following his premature departure from Los Angeles, O'Neal did everything but mold a replica Larry O'Brien trophy out of paper mache to claim a Kobe-less NBA title (which he was able to accomplish in 2005 with the Heat). Contrary to what Shaq may have said at the time, Shaq didn't win the title for the city of Miami. Or the Heat. Or Dwayne Wade. Or Pat Riley. In the days and years following the 05'-06' season, it appeared more and more like he solemnly cared about winning a title for himself; more importantly away from The City of Angels to prove to the world the Lakers made a mistake for trading him.
Fast forward to 2009, now that Kobe had a real shot at winning his first Shaq-less NBA title the tides have suddenly turned which gives me a chance to propose a new twist on the highly-disputed question: Did Kobe need Shaq to win his three rings or is it the other way around?
Well, after hours of mindlessly rummaging through basketball-reference.com like Nick Cage rummaging through piles of ludicrous prospective movie scripts (see: Bangkok Dangerous and Ghost Rider) I can offer this conclusion: Shaq needed Kobe to win his first three rings.
Shaquille O'Neal came into the league in 1992. As a rookie, his Orlando squad missed the playoffs as O'Neal started 81 games for the fifth year, Florida-based franchise. His averages that year: 23.4 ppg, 13.9 rpg, 3.5 bpg. Astonishing. Epic. Unbelievable, even. It's safe to say the big man with the bigger personality nabbed Rookie of the Year honors in a draft class that included eventual teammates Alonzo Mourning and Robert Horry. The Magic finished the season at a respectable 41-41 but the 20-year-old O'Neal spent his first NBA summer watching the playoffs from his king sized bed.
In his sophomore outing Shaq averaged 29.3 ppg, 13.2 rpg, 2.9 bpg and led the Magic to their first ever playoff appearance where they fell to the Indiana Pacers in the first round, 3-0. In Shaq's first postseason appearance, he averaged 20.7/13.3/2.3. The Diesel had officially arrived. Over the next two years (his two final years in Orlando) Shaq averaged 25.7/11.9/3.3 (ast.) in the 94' playoffs and 25.8/10.0/4.6 (ast.) in the 95' playoffs, yet his team got swept in the NBA Finals by the Rockets and then again in the Eastern Conference Finals by the Michael Jordan-led Bulls.
During Shaq's three playoff runs in Orlando he had an up-and-coming Penny Hardaway who threw up increasing season averages over the course of three years and a more than reliable Nick Anderson handling the rock. However, after four years of missed opportunities and shortcomings, Shaq left The Sunshine State in the summer of 1996 with a mediocre playoff record of 18-18.
Enter Los Angeles.
At the time of Shaq's arrival in La La Land, the Lakers had come fresh off an impressive 53-win season yet their season came to an abrupt end with a disappointing first round exit (3-1 to the Rockets) in the playoffs. Instantly, the Shaq acquisition brought new hope to Lakers fans who longed for the days of the Showtime Lakers. Shaq finished his inaugural Lakers season averaging 26.2/12.5/2.9 alongside a versatile, second-year swingman in Eddie Jones (17.2 ppg/4.1 rpg/3.4 apg), a serviceable point guard in Nick Van Exel (15.3 ppg/8.5 apg), and an 18-year-old rookie by the name of Kobe Bryant. Shaq's Lakers lost in the Western Finals that year, 4-1 to the Utah Jazz (Shaq's playoff averages: 26.9/10.6; Kobe's averages: 8.2/1.2), followed by a demoralizing 4-0 sweep the next year at the hands of the same Jazz squad (Shaq's playoff averages: 30.5/10.2; Kobe's averages: 8.7/1.9) .
In the lockout-shortened 1998-99 season the Lakers finished with a 31-19 record and got swept in the Western semifinals by the eventual NBA champs San Antonio Spurs. That season an up-and-coming Kobe Bryant emerged as a quality guard, apparent by his increasing averages throughout the season (points: 19.9, rebounds: 5.3, assists: 3.8) and in the postseason (19.8/6.9/4.6).
In the 1999-2000 campaign the Lakers had finally become a full-fledged powerhouse as they finished with a league best 67-15 record and steamrolled their way to the NBA Finals. That year Shaq put up a career high in points, averaging 29.7 over the course of the season en route to being named league MVP. A maturing Kobe Bryant once again increased his numbers, averaging a then career high 22.5 ppg/6.3 rpg/4.9 apg. The Shaq/Kobe combo went on to beat the Pacers in six games to claim their first title together and the Lakers 12th title as a franchise. During that magical playoff run Shaq averaged a historic 30.7 ppg, 15.4 rpg, 3.1 apg on his way to collecting his first Finals MVP. Yet, Kobe wasn't a slotch by any means. Kobe's impressive emergence in the 2000 NBA playoffs (21.1/4.5/4.4) suddenly blasted him to superstardom.
The following year Shaq averaged 30.4/15.4/3.2 as the Lakers went on to demolish an overmatched 76ers squad in five games to complete the title defense. That year, an improving Bryant put up equally impressive numbers including 28.5 ppg on the season and an inspiring 29.4 ppg/7.3 rpg/6.1 apg during the playoffs. It was official, even though Shaq nabbed his second consecutive Finals MVP, Kobe Bryant had arrived.
In the final Dynasty year, the Lakers (58-24) swept the overwhelmed New Jersey Nets to claim their third title in as many years behind the Kobe/Shaq duo and their 26.6 ppg and 28.5 ppg playoff averages, respectively. Like clockwork, Shaq claimed his third consecutive Finals MVP as Kobe once again played Robin to Shaq's Batman.
Now as you take time to digest all those number I just threw at you, remember that Shaq was putting up huge playoff numbers in an Orlando uniform (three years: 25.3 ppg/11.6 rpg) yet couldn't quite reach a title. And it's not like Shaq didn't have help during his time in Florida. His swingman Penny Hardaway averaged a respectable 18.7/6.7/7.0 in 93-94, 19.6/3.8/7.7 in 94-95 and 23.3/4.7/6.0 in 95-96. As a matter of fact, during that three year stretch Penny Hardaway was a starter on the All-Star team in 94' and 95' and carried the Magic to a 17-5 record after Shaq went down with an injury to start the 95' season. In other words, it's not like Shaq was playing with cast-offs, has-beens and fresh-out-of-high-school scrubs.
Even during his first two years in a Lakers uniform, Shaq was unable to take his team to the promise land with Jones and Van Exel as his sidekicks. It wasn't until Kobe Bryant emerged as a legitimate scorer and one of the top 20 players in the league that Shaq begin to win in the postseason with consistency. His pre-"just heading into my prime" Kobe (1994-1998) playoff record: 29-29, no titles, .500 winning percentage. His "OK, I'm officially in my prime" Kobe playoff record through the three-peat: 48-18, three titles, .727 winning percentage.
In the larger scheme of things at this point in Shaq's career he's completely expendable. During the NBA all-star break there was talk of Shaq possibly returning to Los Angeles to play alongside Kobe again even if it meant he had to come off the bench (behind Andrew Bynum, someone else Shaq openly criticized) in a supportive role, just as long as it meant he had a shot at a title. Yeah, right. That's like saying Jennifer Aniston wouldn't mind participating in a threesome with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie if it meant she could have the third lead role in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2."
In the last four years Shaq has switched uniforms twice and it's looking more and more like he's going to be trading in his Phoenix jersey for another one this summer. Look, Shaq's nearing the end of his career, there's no doubt about that. His production - and contract - is becoming disposable as his production continues to drop. It happens. Even Joe Montana was traded to the Chiefs, Brett Favre was traded to the Jets, Hakeem Olajuwon was traded to the Raptors, Patrick Ewing was traded to the SuperSonics then to the Orlando Magic. I get it, talent begins to fade and teams start looking for younger, more agile, and cheaper players.
With this said, can you see Kobe Bryant being traded? Ever? Will the Lakers ever toss around Kobe Bryant's contract like TLC is tossing around Jon and Kate Gosselin's soon-to-be-expiring "Jon and Kate Plus 8" contract?
Forgive me if I'm wrong but I don't see it happening. Ever. Shaq will get an offer to do "Kazaam 2" before Kobe effin' Bryant gets traded.
In the end, The Diesel had all the tools and all the assets to go the distance with the Orlando Magic team he inherited his rookie season, but couldn't do it. Not his first year, his second, his third, or his fourth. He wasn't playing with the likes of Chris Mihm, Jumaine Jones, Kareem Rush, Smush Parker, Stanislav Medvedenko, Samaki Walker, and Kwame Brown like Kobe was during the post-Shaq years - to which he was endlessly being scrutinized for being a selfish player and a bad teammate. I MEAN LOOK AT THOSE GUYS!!! Those guys wouldn't be starters in a pick-up game at 24-Hour Fitness let alone the NBA.
All this postmortem talk that Kobe needed Shaq to win his three titles and now he needs to prove he can win without Shaq is bull. Unfortunately, what keeps this discussion going is Shaq's antics throughout it all. His celebration in Kobe's failures. Though Shaq may say he wants Kobe to win his fourth title this year, a part in him certainly knows if #24 is to raise the Larry O'Brien trophy in two weeks time, Kobe not only won without him, he one-upped him. Unlike Shaq, Kobe can confidently say he was the best player on a post-Dynasty team.
Like my coach told me, a great center will win you games, but a great guard will win you championships. Shaq will go down as one of the top-5 centers of all-time when it's all said and done, but you better believe his hand would definately be a lot lighter had it not been for the emergence of one, Kobe Bryant.
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